Going Through the Motions

“I don’t wanna spend my whole life asking,
What if I had given everything,
Instead of going through the motions?”

I heard this song on the radio today and it resonated with me on so many levels.

For one, it resonated with me with my walk with Christ and I how I don’t want to just go through the motions; I want to give myself and give myself fully and live it in my life. I have just gone through the motions many times before and every time I have ended up at rock bottom or nearly rock bottom.

It also resonated with me with my patients. Some of my patients just go through the motions and some don’t even do that. I have a patient I could really help, but that patient has literally willed herself to death and has given up on trying. As absolutely heartbreaking as it is, you can’t help someone that has given up and that isn’t willing to try. You can’t make anyone do anything. As much as I want to help, people have to be willing to do more than just go through the motions.

It also resonates in my personal life. I tend to put myself out there and give myself completely to the people in my life I care about. I haven’t always been that way; it’s been a work in progress over the last few years but I’ve really come a long way. I never wanted to give myself to people because I always thought it would wind up in hurt for me. Has it sometimes? Yes. But have the times it hasn’t wound up in hurt been absolutely worth it? Yes. When you get hurt you just have to pick yourself back up the boot straps and keep putting yourself out there. If I had given up, I wouldn’t have half of the very good friends I have now. But what I have noticed, is not everyone is willing to put themselves out there. Some people just go through the motions. No matter how much you try and love them, support them, be there for them, etc. they just can’t open up and fully be themselves. It makes me sad because I don‘t care what people are on the outside, I want to know their heart and what makes them tick. I want to know the good, the bad, and the ugly.

So what do you do when you encounter people like that? You pray. You pray that God helps them see how beautiful they are when they are their true selfs and shows them that they are imperfectly perfect. You support them. You tell them and reassure them that you are there for them whenever they need you. You support them through the good and the bad. You love them. You show them nothing but love and hope that your love touches them. If they show you something different than love, you still show them love. You never know how much their heart is aching on the inside. You give them space. This one is the absolute hardest for me. But sometimes people just need space; change doesn’t happen overnight and sometimes people are fighting inner demons and really wanting to change but are having a hard time overcoming their inner demons. I sometimes take it personally when I feel like people aren’t being their true selfs with me, but I’m trying to understand that it most likely has nothing to do with me. You always keep the door open. You never turn your back on them. Just because you may give space doesn’t mean you are turning your back on them. If at any time they need you, need support, need love, or need help, you open the door wide open and say “come on in.”

“A friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you just the way you are.”

Love to you all. You are worthy.