Something I have struggled with throughout my lifetime is friendships and how they sometimes come and go. Over time, I have learned to look at friendships in the way the poem below describes them.
Reason, Season, or Lifetime
People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is,
you will know what to do for each person.
When someone is in your life for a REASON,
it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty; to provide you with guidance and support;
to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.
Some people come into your life for a SEASON,
because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;
things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person,
and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
— Unknown
This makes me think of one person in particular. I have come to understand that she was a “reason” friend. As much as I wanted her to be a lifetime friend, when I look back at it I can see I was a “reason” to her as well. She was a widow and we met because we lived in the same apartment complex. Her dog and my dog would always bark at each other when my husband and I went on walks. My husband and I got to know her because we would stop and let the dogs say hi. Overtime we formed a friendship to the point where we would visit on her back porch, cook her dinner, take her out to breakfast, and my husband would even play the guitar for her. We shared many of our secrets, dreams, desires, and goals with her. She seemed to care about us deeply and seemed like we would be friends forever…and that’s why it was so confusing and hurtful when it all ended.
The day our friendship ended was essentially the day we told her that we were moving states for my husbands new job. She had really wanted my husband and I to settle down and stay where we were and had even gone to the lengths of trying to help him find new jobs in the area. We were only moving one state away, but it changed everything. After that night we confirmed we were moving away, she distanced herself, stopped answering phone calls, wouldn’t answer her door if we stopped by to say hello. I would be lying if I said it didn’t hurt. This was someone that I had let into the depths of my heart and it felt like all at once it was ripped away. She came quickly into my life and it seems like she no sooner left it.
That was about two years ago and it has taken a lot of deep thinking and healing for me to get past it. I don’t know my exact reason for being in her life but I do know that I helped her get past the death of her dog; her dog passed while we were still friends and I would let her watch my dog and walk him whenever she wanted and maybe I also helped her grief the loss of her husband as she told me things I could tell she had guarded close to her heart. For me, she was a caring friend and was there for me at low moments when I felt like other friends didn’t care. She always made me feel worthwhile and that I mattered to someone. She also helped me with my walk with Christ as she was a very spiritual lady and we discussed tough topics that strengthened my relationship with Christ.
I used to blame myself for the end of the friendship, besides the obvious fact we were moving I sat around thinking what else I did or said that made her want to not be friends as I didn’t think moving was that big of deal/friendship breaker. I have learned that is was nothing I did and I have accepted that I will never truly understand why she was in my life for just a short period, but I will always be thankful for her and the impact she had even if it was just one chapter of my life. I still think of her to this day and continue to pray for her. I’ve also had to try and put things into perspective and think about it from her view…she had been through a lot of loss in her life…the loss of her husband…her dog…and other friends in the apartment that had also moved away. Maybe us moving was just too much to handle…too much loss in too short of a time period. I will never know, because I did not get answers.
Sometimes we don’t get answers and clarity. Just remember that every person that comes into your life has a reason whether it is for a specific reason, a season, or a lifetime. Enjoy them while they are there, learn, love, and don’t let the reason or season friends keep you from moving on and continuing to share your heart with others. You never know when someone might enter your story for a lifetime.
Leave No Words Left Unwritten 